JANUARY 7: WASHINGTON, D.C.

My D.C. birthday parties have become legendary. Some might say equally as legendary as my Austin birthday parties. For me to choose which party is better every year would be like choosing my favorite Beyonce song, and I just won't do that because it's not fair to the other Beyonce songs.

But I digress...

This year's "East Coast Celebration of the Day of My Birth" (also known as "The Best Day of Linda Montgomery's Life") will be Jan. 7. Location details are below; I've had a lot of angst trying to find a new location, and am hopeful that Public Bar will be at least an adequate replacement of Porters.

Stephanie's 30th Birthday Spectacular Extravaganza
Jan. 7, 6:30 p.m. (or earlier if you prefer to warm up your belly)
Public Bar rooftop
1214 18th Street
Metro: What do I look like, your mother? Look it up your goddam self.
Bus: Seriously, don't make me regret inviting you

Post happy hour options include karaoke at Peyote, or dance party at Grand Central (both in Adams Morgan). Don't make me talk you into coming. Just come and have the best time ever like you always do.